Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Profile edit


1,148 words
The Church in the Basement
            South beyond Stadium Drive, past rows and rows of suburban homes with immaculate lawns, Oakland Drive makes a T with Winchell Avenue. About a quarter of a mile down Winchell, there is a large brown-brick church with a wooden cross in the yard facing all who drive by. Inside the door, there is a grandfatherly greeter named Richard handing out bulletins and hugs. To the right of the foyer, there is an imposing sanctuary with rows of hard wooden pews and another cross standing behind a raised pulpit. The sanctuary is completely empty, and this often confuses first-time visitors, until they are directed downstairs by Richard.
Travelling down the two flights of stairs reveals a basement lit by fluorescent lights where thirty or so gray-haired men and women are milling around and finding seats as a younger man with an immaculately-trimmed beard plays guitar, fingerpicking his way through one of today’s hymns one last time before the service. There are plenty of battered, mint-colored chairs arranged two-deep in a half-circle, flanked on both sides by large white banners painted in a wide array of colors with people, rainbows and all manners of LGBTQ pride symbols. At the center of this explosion of color is a table covered with a pristine white cloth holding two candles with a tasteful bronze cross in the center. Off to the side, there is a miniature statue of a rainbow-colored phoenix rising from the flames.
There’s a man behind the altar, about fifty, bald, with glasses. He’s clad in a dark-blue shirt with a blue-striped tie and grey pants, and he would look like a well-dressed accountant were it not for the fact that he is standing behind an altar wearing a rainbow-colored stole emblazoned prominently with custom gay pride symbols.
            That man is Ken Arthur, pastor of Phoenix Community Church. He is gay, and so are about eighty percent of his parishioners. Most members of his flock are between fifty and seventy, and they are a delightful cast of characters. There’s Marvel, a retired woman after left behind her Bible Baptist upbringing because she “hated getting in trouble for thinking” and came to Phoenix twenty-five years ago.
And there’s Mark, a gay man in his forties and a former Catholic who left the church in disgust one Sunday after the priest gave a gay-bashing sermon from the book of Leviticus. The experience soured him on faith, and he considers himself an agnostic now, but he’s been coming to Phoenix for twenty years, singing hymns and enjoying the community.
            Then there’s Myrna, an older woman in her seventies with laugh lines that testify to her readiness to smile. She came here years ago to learn more about gay people, and, in the process, learned that she was a lesbian when she fell in love with another member.
 At six o’clock every Sunday night, they meet in this basement, a space they rent from the Kalamazoo Church of Disciples, a faith community brave enough and liberal enough to accept Phoenix’s community with open arms. No one seems to mind meeting in the basement; after all, a basement beats a closet every time.
Besides, basements are nothing new to Phoenix’s parishioners. In fact, they started out in a basement. On Ash Wednesday of 1988, eighteen people met in Pastor Cyril Stevenson’s basement for Phoenix’s inaugural service. Cyril had been dismissed from the United Church of Christ for being gay, and he decided to start Phoenix with co-Pastor Melanie Morrison in order to provide a safe place for LGBTQ men and women to worship. For a long time, theirs was the only church that accepted people of different sexualities. 
After that initial meeting, the church bounced from basement to rented room to basement, staying on the margins of the faith community until acceptance began to prevail in the mid-nineties, and Phoenix was accepted back into the United Church of Christ.
Despite finding a degree of acceptance, they continued to stay in rented spaces for financial reasons. Small churches always live on the edge when it comes to making rent and paying salaries, and Phoenix is no exception. Even at their height of membership, the community never numbered more than sixty, so it was always a struggle to make rent. Inevitably, disputes over money began to arise, and a gulf that was too wide to be bridged grew between two groups within the church. In 2007, a third of the congregation left to from another church.
But it’s a difficult to kill a phoenix, and the church clung to life, continuing to provide community to those who had been ostracized for the sexual orientation. One person who sought out that community was current Pastor, Ken Arthur. Ken left the church when he went to college because he was unable to reconcile the idea of a loving God with the idea of hellfire and damnation. After coming out at age thirty, he came to Phoenix in 1996 seeking a support system to aid him in his self-discovery. Over the course of four or five years, Ken’s skepticism gradually melted away, and he came to affirm the divinity of Jesus Christ.
To further explore his newfound spirituality, Ken decided to enroll in the Chicago Theological Seminary in 2007. While he was there, he received a Master’s in Religious Studies rather than a Divinity degree, because he “definitely didn’t want to be a pastor.”
Within a year, Ken became Phoenix’s pastor.  Because of the split, Phoenix needed an interim pastor, and Ken was asked to step because of his time at the Seminary. His congregation liked him so much that they made him the full-time pastor in 2010.
Ken promotes a brand of theology that rejects easy answers and “simple-minded, warm-and-fuzzy peace.” He welcomes questions and uncertainties. When asked about the specifics of the afterlife, he shrugs and says, “Who knows?” “When I talk about the Kingdom, I’m talking about realizing it here: working for peace and hope and justice here on Earth.” And they do indeed do work. A construction paper poster boasts 254 hours of community service, 11 trees planted, and 4 letters written as a part of the church’s Arbor Day campaign for environmental stewardship.  
And Ken doesn’t do talk about the Kingdom in the prototypical preacher’s voice. His is a wispy tenor, not a booming baritone, and he speaks without amplification. His is a voice that is easily drowned out by anyone with a microphone, or even just a determined, loud man holding a sign on a street corner. He is not loud enough to compete with the Pat Robertson of the world. Yet when he preaches the Gospel, he still grabs you. The passion in his voice is palpable, like a cup running over quietly, as he preaches, love, justice, and reconciliation in the basement of a church.

3 comments:

  1. Hey Trevor,
    I don't really love the lede, somehow this time around all of he geographical details feel less relevant than in your first draft. I love the part about the man giving hugs, because it slowly introduces the reader to these characteristics of this highly welcoming community, but some of the other details don't really add much.

    I love hearing about the members of the congregation! It must have been so fun to talk to them. I also love the contrast of the colorful decorations and then the white altar, it really serves to illustrate all that is going on in the church, especially the mission.

    I think you might be missing couple of things still. How do the congregation members feel about the pastor? I would like to hear some quotes from them. I also like how you transition into the story of the church and the pastor, but then it gets very chronological and just kind of ends. I think f you could include one last part with more quotes, or write about some other events that they have or something less formulaic, it would provide a good balance, and serve to "weave" the piece a little bit more. I think its really getting there!

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  2. Trevor,

    I really liked the change in focus from the pastor to the church. I think it definitely removes a lot of the questions that were present in the first draft and gives this version a little more focus. I really liked the little snippets about several of the people, but I almost wanted to see them in the room itself. Something like, "Standing in a corner drinking coffee was..." or "talking closely with another young man..." I don't know, maybe that's cheesy, I just felt like maybe it would flow a little better and place them in the moment itself.

    I agree and disagree with Charlotte on the geographical stuff. I do really like the in church description. I'm not totally sold on the directional part, but I see where you're trying to go with it. I think if you just cut the first one and a half sentences my problems with it would be resolved in that area.

    I don't know how I feel about ending in talking about the way the pastor preaches, because the story isn't really about him at all. I like that paragraph and I think it adds some good detail, but I think it would serve better as a second to last paragraph. Maybe have a final scene of the church service ending and people talking or leaving (if that is something that you actually observed). I feel something like that might give the piece some better closure. I'd also love to see more quotes! I had a really hard time putting them in mine, but I think it really drives the story along. I know sometimes people don't say the profound things you want them to, but you probably have some usable stuff that would help your transitions and weaving.

    Overall, there was definitely some good improvement from last time. I think that narrowing your focus to the church's story was a good move and the story was quite interesting. Something that you might want to look into is maybe the church's involvement with the community and how the community views them. I don't want to stress you out with more reporting or whatever but if you had asked any questions pertaining to that it might help balance it a little more.

    Can't wait to read the final! Good luck editing!

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  3. Hello Trevor,

    I think this weeks draft is closer to polished than last weeks, but you really changed the focus and I don't think that's a bad thing. This piece is no longer about Pastor Ken. It's now about the physical church and it's history/ the societal space it occupies. This aspect of the piece, the part about the societal space this church occupies, was the most interesting and I wanted more about it. Do you think you could interview surrounding neighbors, or businesses, and see what they think of this church? I think that would add a lot of depth to the piece.

    In the same vein as that, while I think the new focus of the piece is good and cool, it is going to mean a lot more work for you. You essentially have to start from scratch. Or rather, you did, and now you have to write another rough draft for the church and another final draft for the church. I'm not sure how I felt about using the churches attendees to allow us to paint a picture of what the church is like. It was definitely interesting but it seems like you're creating more problems than solving them. I want a little more about each person, and I want to know about how I am supposed to feel about the church based of what you've given me about each person. Spoon feed the reader a little more.

    I did think introducing Ken the pastor at the beginning was fine but having him in at the end distracts from the piece. You could tell that you just kept those sections from last time cause you weren't sure what to do with them. Embrace the new focus of your piece.

    I thought it was really cool how even from the title of the piece you guide us into this being about a place, not a person, and yet we as readers find ourselves denying this until eventually the all powerful Trevor says NO. A little rambly but I think my point was there.

    The extra physical description was good but I thought there could be a bit more on the exterior of the building.

    Hope this is helpful, Trev. As with Cassie's piece I am going to continue thinking about it and if I come up with anything more helpful I shall post it.

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